There are many factors that people use to measure their self worth. I have been challenged in this area lately, and not in a good way. I calculate my self worth in many ways, but the major ones are my job as wife and mother/stepmother, my relationships with friends and family, and my home. I take pride in my performance in my ‘jobs’, and when I’m criticized in these areas it really delivers a blow. Now, don’t get me wrong, constructive criticism is important and needed in every aspect of life, but what I received was in no way constructive. I’ve taken strides lately to just let things go rather than be defensive, but it seems I haven’t actually let go. I’m hoping by writing this post, it will be in some form therapeutic and allow me to get my warm fuzzies back. What I mean by ‘warm fuzzies’ is that, typically I am the kind of person that works hard for my family, I strive for excellence, and it makes me feel good. I may be seen as a perfectionist or a little OCD about some things, but that’s just the way I am. I want my kids to have healthy self-esteem, good work ethic, and most of all a strong relationship with God, us, and each other. Yeah, I have high standards, but that doesn’t make me a bad mother. I work with my kids, and do what it takes to help them be the best they can be, but I don’t do everything for them. That’s not my job. My job is to lead them. To teach them right and wrong, and to pray over them. I do what I can for my kids, and I pray it is enough.
Ahhh…I do feel better. I actually had a huge rant paragraph that had a few too many details about stuff, but felt it was a little too much to post. DELETED. It felt good just to type it though. Sorry for the ‘downer’ post, but I needed it.